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What’s the best advice on how to feel better after a bad experience?

My friend has recently got divorced and has been feeling really down since then. She doubts herself a lot and she is not interested in going out anymore. It has been months since the divorce and I think it is time for her to start trying to move on. I have tried giving her advice on how to feel better and even tried to define bettering oneself and effective strategies for her. Despite my advice on how to change yourself mentally, nothing seems to work. What’s the best advice I can give?

Megan Page

in Self Improvement

1 answer

1 answer

Kaitlin Dean on July 11, 2018

A divorce is a very difficult thing to go through especially if someone has been married for years. Most people are not interested in doing anything to feel better for a while because the pain is too much for them. Therefore, it doesn’t matter whether you have the best definition of bettering or the best advice on why it is important to focus on yourself and forget about the divorce. Your friend will try to feel better when she is ready. It is not something you can force. However, there are a number of things you can do to make the situation better for her. These include:

  • Listening

Instead of focusing on how feeling better can help your friend, you should focus more on helping her get through it. One way to do this is by offering a shoulder to cry on. Listen to her when she complains or blames herself for the divorce and goes through a number of emotions. This allows her to vent and it gets her closer to getting better.

  • Distract Her

A person who has gone through a divorce will probably not want to go out or interact with other people. Most people want to stay at home by themselves. This gives them more time to focus on the divorce and it can make things worse for them if they keep up the habit. If you notice your friend doing this, take some time to distract her by taking her out or making her do different activities that will take her attention from thinking about the past relationship.

  • Give Her Space

Sometimes, it might be a good idea to give someone who has gone through a bad experience some space to deal with it the way they want to. Therefore, instead of trying to find out how to change her mentally, try and give her the time she  needs to get over it. However, do not give her too much time because she can self-distract if she feels sorry and is constantly wallowing in self-pity. When you think she has had enough time to feel sorry for herself, it is time for you to take charge and try and get her out.

  • Find Help

If you think your friend might need professional help to get over her divorce, get her the best help you can get. This might be what will help her recover and move on.


Eric Bates10 months ago

I concur with this. I don’t think you can teach someone how to feel better after a bad experience. It is only that person who can decide it is time for them to move on and try to feel better. However, there is always something you can do to make someone feel better. It doesn’t have to be something big. It can be something as simple as making their favorite meal or eating ice cream with them as you watch reruns of your favorite shows. However, when you feel like your friend has been wallowing in self-pity for a long time, you can try getting her out and making her realize that she has to move on. Make her see why it is important for her to move on and try and make her come to terms with the divorce. It might not be easy but it will definitely be worth it. 

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